When your name is Jeffrey Epstein you’re bound to get blowback.
Stop feeling sorry for yourself. The people want what they want. And over the weekend, they wanted Jeffrey R. Epstein‘s scalp — even if he is a happy-go-lucky executive at Disney.
Let’s just hope the next national alleged pedophile multi-millionaire who spends his life reeling in young women, requires three orgasms a day, gets arrested and ultimately commits suicide in jail does not have your name.
Just think how the non-famous Matt Lauer must feel.
Friends: So Jeffrey, how was your weekend?
Me: pic.twitter.com/u5sVKYVftk— Jeffrey R Epstein (@EpsteinJeffrey) August 11, 2019
I can feel a CNN Jeanne Moos story coming on.
His Twitter bio reads, “Not THAT Jeffrey Epstein” (wink! wink!), but he’s not out of the woods and he may never be. His pinned tweet is now this: “I guess I should appreciate all the RIPs, but I’m not dead. And I’m still *not* THAT Jeffrey Epstein.”
Disney’s Jeffrey Epstein describes his life as “surreal” as of late. The Mirror attempted to get ahold of him but alas he’s dead. (Sorry, joking. Too soon? I really did attempt it.)
“I have been thinking about you sympathetically through this whole thing,” emoted Ted Allen, a host on the Food Network.
As you might imagine, Epstein’s online presence is a garbage can right now.
“Maybe you can go by ‘Jeff’ for a couple days?” a kind follower advised.
And, “I can empathize,” says a follower who goes by the name Kenny Rogers (No, not THAT Kenny Rogers.)
A man named Michael Bolton (not the singer) remarked, “I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: I feel your pain, brother!”
Not THAT Brett Kavenaugh just had to chime in:”Good luck in your quest to be known as you and not somebody else who happens to have the same or a similar name @EpsteinJeffrey.”
This Epstein is having some fun with his newfound celebrity. Well, as much as sharing the name of a dead alleged pedophile brings.
“One bad Epstein can’t spoil the bunch,” he wrote.
Um. I think maybe in this case it can.
Since the name Jeffrey Epstein may be marred for decades to come, Jeffrey R. Epstein is going to have to keep a refrain handy.
“Go to hell, child rapist,” a Twitter user wrote.
Jeffrey R. Epstein replied, “Hey there! Still not that Jeffrey Epstein.”
This could take awhile.