Who is Bao Bao? Bao Bao is a stupid panda at the National Zoo in DC. Supposedly, it’s a big deal that Bao Bao was born in America — hello, so was I, nobody cares, nobody should care — and it’s an even bigger deal what Bao Bao is being shipped off to China. I say good riddance, but apparently some people are sad about it.
It took two reporters to write the following story. Dana Hedgpeth and Michael E. Ruane, WaPo:
The Chinese Embassy served farewell dumplings Thursday at the National Zoo to mark the departure next week of the zoo’s female giant panda, Bao Bao, who is moving to China…
The zoo invited its staff to taste the dumplings, made by chefs at the embassy. The 600 dumplings were filled with pork and vegetables, but Bao Bao wasn’t eating them. She is getting presented with a box of panda treats that has a dumpling painted on it.
Was the box ticking? Did it explode? Then I don’t care.
Go away already, Bao Bao. You’re not cute. You’re not amusing. I don’t like that my tax dollars are keeping you alive. Go sponge off some other country.
I won’t say I hope the FedEx plane crashes, because then some humans would die. But maybe the cargo door could accidentally fall open and that useless beast could plummet into the ocean? That doesn’t seem like a lot to ask.
#ByeByeBaoBao. #DieDieBaoBao!